How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Books,discount prices 0380811960,

	How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
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Product Details Binding Paperback Dewey Decimal Number 649.1 EAN 9780380811960 ISBN 0380811960 Manufacturer Collins Living Number Of Items 1 Number Of Pages 286 Publication Date October 01, 1999 Publisher Collins Living Release Date October 01, 1999 Availability Usually ships in 24 hours Product Description You Can Stop Fighting With Your Children Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this Twentieth Anniversary Edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based upon feedback they've received over the years. Their methods of communication-illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action-offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You'll learn how to: Cope with your child's negative feelings-frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. Express your anger without being hurtful Engage your child's willing cooperation Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill Use alternatives to punishment Resolve family conflicts peacefully How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is an excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Faber and Mazlish (coauthors of Siblings Without Rivalry) provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house. The 'Reminder' pages, helpful cartoon illustrations, and excellent exercises will improve your ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. The book can be used alone or in parenting groups, and the solid tools provided are appropriate for kids of all ages. 'An excellent book that's applicable to any relationship.' An exceptional work, not simply just another 'how to' bookAll parents can use these methods to improve the everyday quality of their relationships with their children. -- Fort Worth Star Telegram 'Designed to bring adults to the level of children, and children to the level of adults, so that this happy meeting ground can truly make for harmony in the home.' -- Los Angeles Times 'Faber and Mazlish are doing for parenting today what Dr. Spock did for our generation.' -- Parent Magazine 'Practical, sensible, lucid the approaches Faber and Mazlish lay out are so logical you wonder why you read them with such a burst of discovery.' -- Family Journal 'The parenting bible.' -- Boston Globe 'Will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world.' -- Christian Science Monitor You Can Stop Fighting With Your Children Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this Twentieth Anniversary Edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based upon feedback they've received over the years. Their methods of communication-illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action-offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You'll learn how to: Cope with your child's negative feelings-frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. Express your anger without being hurtful Engage your child's willing cooperation Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill Use alternatives to punishment Resolve family conflicts peacefully Get your kids' cooperation...without arguing. Morning hassles and bedtime battles disappear when you apply the communication techniques these experts have been teaching parents nationwide. Even if you've felt you had no other alternative than to lecture or criticize, you'll be able to reduce the wear and tear on yourself and your family with this practical program. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish -- once frustrated mothers themselves -- use real-life situations to show how you can respect and respond to your child's feelings and satisfy your own needs. You'll learn to: Avoid turning simple conversations into arguments Instruct rather than criticize when correcting your child Choose effective alternatives to punishment Show your child how to make amends Allow him to experience the direct consequences of his actions See immediate changes in your relationship with your children -- changes that will mean the difference between bad feelings and good ones; between fighting and loving. Internationally acclaimed experts on communication between adults and children, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have won the gratitude of parents and the enthusiastic endorsement of the professional community. Their first book, Liberated Parents/Liberated Children, received the Christopher Award for 'literary achievement affirming the highest values of the human spirit.' Their subsequent books, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and the #1 New York Times bestseller Siblings Without Rivalry, have sold over 3 million copies and have been translated into more than twenty languages. Their group workshop programs and videos produced by PBS are currently used by thousands of parents' groups around the globe. Their most recent book, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn-At Home and in School, was cited by Child magazine as the 'best book of the year for excellence in family issues and education.' Both authors studied with the late child psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott, and are former members of the faculty of The New School for Social Research in New York City and The Family Life Institute of Long Island University. In addition to their frequent lectures throughout the United States and Canada, they have appeared on every major television show from 'Good Morning America' to 'The Oprah Winfrey Show.' They currently reside in Long Island, New York, and each is the parent of three children. Chapter One Helping Children Deal with Their Feelings Part One I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own. Living with real children can be humbling. Every morning I would tell myself, 'Today is going to be different,' and every morning was a variation of the one before. 'You gave her more than me!' . . . 'That's the pink cup. I want the blue cup.' . . . 'This oatmeal looks like 'throw-up.'' . . . 'He punched me.' . . . 'I never touched him!' 'I won't go to my room. You're not the boss over me!' They finally wore me down. And though it was the last thing I ever dreamed I'd be doing, I joined a parent group. The group met at a local child guidance center and was led by a young psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott. The meeting was intriguing. The subject was 'children's feelings,' and the two hours sped by. I came home with a head spinning with new thoughts and a notebook full of undigested ideas: Direct connection between how kids feel and how they behave. When kids feel right, they'll behave right. How do we help them to feel right? By accepting their feelings! Problem--Parents don't usually accept their children's feelings; for example: 'You don't really feel that way.' 'You're just saying that because you're tired.' 'There's no reason to be so upset.' Steady denial of feelings can confuse and enrage kids. Also teaches them not to know what their feelings are--not to trust them. After the session I remember thinking, 'Maybe other parents do that. I don't.' Then I started listening to myself. Here are some sample conversations from my home--just from a single day. CHILD: Mommy, I'm tired. ME: You couldn't be tired. You just napped. CHILD: (louder) But I'm tired. ME: You're not tired. You're just a little sleepy. Let's get dressed. CHILD: (wailing) No, I'm tired! CHILD: Mommy, it's hot in here. ME: It's cold. Keep your sweater on. CHILD: No, I'm hot. ME: I said, 'Keep your sweater on!' CHILD: No, I'm hot. CHILD: That TV show was boring. ME: No it wasn't. It was very interesting. CHILD: It was stupid. ME: It was educational. CHILD: It stunk. ME: Don't talk that way! Can you see what was happening? Not only were all our conversations turning into arguments, I was also telling my children over and over again not to trust their own perceptions, but to rely upon mine instead. Once I was aware of what I was doing. I was determined to change. But I wasn't sure of how to go about it. What finally helped me most was actually putting myself in my children's shoes. I asked myself, 'Suppose I were a child who was tired, or hot or bored? And suppose I wanted that all-important grown-up in my life to know what I was feeling . . . ?' Over the next weeks I tried to tune in to what I felt my children might be experiencing; and when I did, my words seemed to follow naturally. I wasn't just using a technique. I really meant it when I said, 'So you're still feeling tired--even though you just napped.' Or 'I'm cold, but for you it's hot in here.' Or 'I can see you didn't care much for that show.' After all we were two separate people, capable of having two different sets of feelings. Neither of us was right or wrong. We each felt what we felt. For a while my new skill was a big help. There was a noticeable reduction in the number of arguments between the children and me. Then one day my daughter announced, 'I hate Grandma,' and it was my mother she was talking about. I never hesitated for a second. 'That is a terrible thing to say,' I snapped. 'You know you don't mean it. I don't ever want to hear that coming out of your mouth again.' That little exchange taught me something else about myself. I could be very accepting about most of the feelings the children had, but let one of them tell me something that made me angry or anxious and I'd instantly revert to my old way. I've since learned that my reaction was not that unusual. On the following page you'll find examples of other statements children make that often lead to an automatic denial from their parents. Please read each statement and jot down what you think a parent might say if he were denying his child's feelings. Did you find yourself writing things like: 'That's not so. I know in your heart you really love the baby.' 'What are you talking about? You had a wonderful party--ice cream, birthday cake, balloons. Well, that's the last party you'll ever have!' 'Your bite-plate can't hurt that much. After all the money we've invested in your mouth, you'll wear that thing whether you like it or not!' 'You have no right to be mad at the teacher. It's your fault. You should have been on time.' Somehow this kind of talk comes easily to many of us. But how do children feel when they hear it? In order to get a sense of what it's like to have one's feelings disregarded, try the following exercise: Imagine that you're at work. Your employer asks you to do an extra job for him. He wants it ready by the end of the day. You mean to take care of it immediately, but because of a series of emergencies that come up, you completely forget. Things are so hectic, you barely have time for your own lunch. Accessories Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer Customers who bought this item also bought Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic) Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries The Pocket Parent Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool Customer Reviews for: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Rating - True Heirs of Ginott Reading this somewhat dated, self-help-centered, yet ultimately brilliant book reminded me of discussing a thorny subject with an eccentric college professor: He or she might be disorganized and a bit unconventional but the luminance of (presumed!) great ideas shines through. As for actual professors, the authors fully acknowledge their debt to legendary child development specialist Haim Ginott -- they were students of his -- and can be given full credit for extending his work in important areas: in this case, adult/child communication. The ideas introduced here -- first published in 1980, but still more than ... Read More Rating - I love this book and give it to lots of my clents! I am a clinical psychologist and I first found this book over 30 years ago. I have used it with clients who were abused as children to create a better relationship. My mother-in-law watched my kids once a week when they were small. We both read it. When we drifted of course we would read it again - and she had already raised 5 kids! I got one for my sister and she posted the chapter summaries on her bathroom mirror and her friends kept asking for copies! and it has great cartoons.[All their books are great. I recommend them in my book. [.ASIN:0425193950 Happily Married With Kids]] Rating - A Classic for Raising Children Every parent needs to read this book to truly learn how to talk and listen to their kids. Communication is at the heart of powerful parenting and this book shows you how. Practical and based on srong psychological principles...one will find that raising children is indeed an art that can be learned. see more reviews See all books by author Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

Books : How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk